I think we all know the drill: Fly from left to right, grab floating power-ups, shoot down or dodge an onslaught of minor foes, and then blow up the big boss at the end of the level in order to move on. Most of these are further sub-divided into multiple visually distinct segments (1-1, 1-2, 1-3, etc). Gameplay consists of traditional horizontally scrolling shoot-’em-up action encompassing a total of six main stages. Pity, because these sequences look great and I can’t help but be intrigued at the prospect of this much dialogue in a shooter. I do know that a bad guy named Nero eventually shows up, but I can’t discern who he’s supposed to be or what his deadly plot entails.
Unlike those wacky game over screens, all of the cutscene text is in Japanese and there’s currently no fan translation patch available. Unfortunately, that’s all I can really tell you for sure. She’s been arrested while investigating the mysterious disappearance of another cyber-diver named Ohala, so our boy Syd promptly hops on his flying motorcycle thingy and jets off to rescue her from the cops.
Syd, an expert “cyber-diver” is contacted by his friend Deva. Our story begins in the Kabukichō red light district of Tokyo in the year 2099. It’s a prime example of the sort of quality PC Engine titles that NEC should have been busy porting over to their struggling TurboGrafx-16 at the time, even if it would have likely meant losing out on all those hilarious swears. It also showcases a surprisingly robust cyberpunk anime storyline told through Ninja Gaiden style cutscenes. Indeed, Down Load is a fast-paced, exciting shooter with some of the best graphics I’ve ever seen in a HuCard release. Legendary studios like SNK routinely proved that some shoddy English does not a bad ’90s game make. Is not this a great beginning.” Odds are that if you’ve been exposed to the game at all, it’s through images of these very quotable screens.ĭon’t be too quick to write this one off as a joke, though. It’s hard not to love gems like “I can not fuck up for this” and “Shit.
First things first: Do you have any idea how much of a pain it is to research a game called Down Load? I suppose I can’t really blame the staff at Alfa System and NEC Avenue for not psychically anticipating the online emulation scene when they produced this obscure 1990 shooter, but yeah, it’s an issue.Īs a Japanese exclusive with a search-resistant name, I may well have never given Down Load a look if it hadn’t been for Clyde Mandelin and Tony Kuchar’s book, “This be book bad translation, video games!” The authors devote a full two-page spread to shots of its ridiculous game over screens, in which the main character, Syd, unleashes expletive-laden tirades over being defeated by the enemy.